For Those Who Think Soccer Sucks

Only a few days away and the pinnacle of excitement for soccer fans all of the world will begin. Soccer fans also know what that means. The soccer haters come out and express how much soccer sucks.

Every four years the “soccer sucks” phrase awakens from its deep sleep in the brain of know-it-alls. You don’t hear it any other time. Only when World Cup fever starts to heat up. To those who say it, I’m surprised they took the time away from smashing beer cans on their forehead to speak.

Not everyone like every single sport out there. I don’t understand all of them. Not everyone likes hockey, golf or tennis. But when the NHL season, Masters, or US Open begins you don’t hear those haters come out and say “Golf sucks. It’s so boring.” It’s just soccer that they think sucks.

Why so? Because it’s not America’s game. Here kids grow up with football and baseballs in their cribs. Soccer is something they do when they’re five years old but eventually grow out of it. Ignorant people believe it’s not a true sport if you use only your feet and not your hands. Also if you use your feet why isn’t it called football? Those are the same geniuses who think lighting their fart on fire is funny.

They’re also whining about how slow the game is. They say, “There are lots of passing the ball around and games end with one or two goals. Boring!” No one ever said baseball was a fast sport. How about football? For all the excitement on the gridiron each play only lasts seconds then both teams take a break until another play runs again. In basketball what can be so exciting about a 2 point basket? I say to that, “Look he made another one. I just saw one of those 10 seconds ago. Wow, this time he shot a 3 point shot.” Finally the same people who hate the lack of action or scoring in soccer are the same ones who watch a stock car drive around a track for three hours. What can be more boring?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge fan of most of the sports I just mentioned (except for the last one). Those who say soccer sucks are saying they’d rather watch bottom dwellers San Francisco 49ers play the anemic Cleveland Browns to a 10-3 finish instead of a World Cup final between soccer powerhouses Brazil and England.

Those who hate soccer just don’t understand the game. If you don’t know a goal kick from a field goal you’re not going appreciate the skill, artistry, and strategy of soccer. Put someone in front of a television who doesn’t know why a running back runs into a huge pile of guys is going to find it boring as well.

If you don’t like soccer don’t watch it. When the highlights come on go to the fridge and find some leftovers. Don’t read about it in the newspaper. Go straight to the comics. Just don’t say it sucks because you don’t know it all.

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