We Should All Blame Everything on Massage Therapists Now

"Let me start by telling you this: I have never used steroids, period."- Raphael Palmerio

"I'm not here to talk about the past. My lawyers have advised me that I cannot answer these questions without jeopardizing my friends, my family, and myself."- Mark McGwire

"Everything I have heard about steroids and human growth hormones is that they are very bad for you, even lethal. I would never put anything dangerous like that in my body."- Sammy Sosa

"We will explain to the world why this is not a doping case but a natural occurrence," Landis said at a news conference in Madrid, Spain.

Lie, lie, lie, and yet another lie. All these quotes have been made by alleged steroid and illegal substance abusers trying to deny, deny, deny. I guess it's all they can say besides telling the truth.

In the worst excuse since Barry Bonds said he was using the cream and clear for arthritis pain and didn't know it was steroids, Justin Gatlin's coach has blamed the massage therapist for Gatlin testing positive for anabolic steroids. He claims the revenge-minded therapist rubbed testosterone cream onto Gatlin's leg before the April race where he test positive. Graham said when he walked into the room the therapist stuffed a white jar of the substance in his pocket. He also said Kato Kaelin was there and can be an alibi.

If anyone believes that then I have some oceanfront property in Nebraska to sell you. Also I have moon rocks that I can sell to you really cheap. Plus I need help to transfer $10,000,000 out of an off shore account and I will pay you 10% if you can help me. First send $10,000 so we can begin.

This defense is coming from a coach who might be banned by the IAAF because he has coached at least half a dozen athletes who have received drug suspensions. His credibility suddenly looks as thin as Nicole Richie. If he suspected the white jar to be suspicious then not why confront the therapist right there? It's probably because the incident never happened. He might as well admit that Gatlin accidently used testosterone cream instead of lotion when he needed some person manual rubbing. It's a honest mistake anyone can make in the heat of the moment.

The IAAF is not taking this claim seriously. They probably have the quote posted up on the top of their urinals so everyone can get a good laugh as they pee out clean urine.

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