Two of the most undeserving and horrible teams will play in their conference championship game. Next weekend is the ACC and Big 12 Championship game. December 3, 2005 will be known as “Black Saturday” now. It’s because FSU and Colorado will be trampled, pushed around, and left for injured on the ground like those crazy ass shoppers on “Black Friday”, shopping's most insane day. FSU and Colorado, congratulations on being in your conference championship game next week. What you’ve won is a national television beat down. Don’t even bother to do much preparing for the game. You’re better off talking really nice in the press about the other team so they won’t run up the score on you. What this actually does is make a mockery of each conference championship games. Let’s take a closer look at their credentials.
FSU has lost to Virginia and NC State and Clemson and Florida to win the ACC Atlantic division. They scored an average of 12 points in their last three losses in a row. You know you’ve had a bad season when the most memorable part was when your incumbent starting quarterback was doing pushups and claiming to be “God” and the “son of God” in the middle of the street before the season. Oh and this was after he came back from drug infested Bonnaroo concert. Nice going my friend. So FSU goes 7-4 and STILL makes it to the championship game to play Virginia Tech. Does anyone give them a chance?? I think if I have a better chance of waking up loaded in a cannon and being shot across the Grand Canyon.
Oh and with Colorado it doesn’t get any better. What do you get when you lose to Nebraska at home 30-3? You get to play in a championship game with a 7-4 record too!! Where do I sign up for that? I can get the 40 year old virgin, Cuba Gooding Jr. as Radio, Ron Burgundy and a couple Mexican buddies who can kick a mean soccer ball on a team. Even Colorado players conceded after the loss they don’t deserve to play in the championship game. Oh great morale guys. I guess it is low when this is the second year you’ve backed into the championship, thanks to Iowa State losing AGAIN in the last game of the season. Gosh you probably should be mad at them for losing so you wouldn’t have to play Texas again. Yeah… take their name off the Kwanza and Christmas card mailing list. Send them some Ex-lax brownies instead. They should be out there getting their asses kicked instead of you next week.
So both teams just be careful when you go out and play next week. Texas and Virginia Tech have BCS dreams alive in their heads. When the door opens they’re going to run to the very back of the store where it’s waiting for them just like those hot $350 laptop computers at Best Buy on Black Friday. They’re bigger, faster, and smarter so you’ll get run over, trampled, and just feel like dust on the floor. So while they’re enjoying their prize, you’ll be over in the CD aisle looking to pick up a $4.99 Ashlee Simpson CD.
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