Attack Your Girlfriend and Blame it on Wii

This woman got this black eye from
a) a Cincinnati Bengals player
b) getting whooped by Rocky Balboa
c) the Nintendo Wii controller

The huge, fat, disgusting looking shiner are compliments of the motion sensing Nintendo Wii controllers. What happened was the woman was playing Zelda. Her boyfriend was at a company party and drank his weight in booze. He came home and she was fighting a Zelda boss. He decided to be a man and defeat the boss himself. After he got his ass whooped, she decided to take over the controllers. She came from the side. He did not see her when performing a slashing motion. Boom!! He hit her like Mike Tyson in her right eye.

If she was a boxer, they would call the fight. I do not know why the hell she's smiling. If he left the toilet seat up, she'd probably scream. Give her a huge black eye and say cheese! I know most guys would be in the shit house for eternity if they did that to their girlfriend. All the money saved up to buy that big screen TV would go to flowers and jewelry. And good luck trying to blame it on the Wii when you go out. You say, "Wii did this to her. I swear!!" and they'll think you're part of a gang bang.

I can see it now. Professional athletes all buying Wii systems and when they have a domestic dispute they'll just say "We were playing Wii and I kept swinging the controller back and forth and she didn't get out of my way."

But this woman is even more insane then her picture. How much trouble did her boyfriend get in? Soooooo much trouble that his punishment is....she has first dibs on the Wii. That's it. What happens if she had lost an eye? Buy a PS3 instead? Let me punch her in the other eye for making that stupid deal.

While I'm in the punching mood, let me rear back and punch as hard as I can at this woman (below) as well. That video should be an advertisement that Playstation should put out as a reason not to buy the Wii. I'll just blame the Wii when she looks like this after I'm done with her.

Attack on Girlfriend Proves Fatal to Boyfriend's Wii Privileges [Wii Have a Problem]

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